Mothgate 2012

I made plans to go out to lunch with a friend of mine today. Woo hoo! I get to get out of the house, more than just to go to the corner store, or to greet Peanut at the bus! Yessssss!

I showered before meeting said friend. As I reached for the bottle of body wash, I noticed something was on it. Of course, I didn't have my contacts in, and without them, I'm blind. Like have to have my nose literally on something in order to really see it. I also suffer from acute arachnophobia. Last night, I whined and wheedled until Nathan killed a spider that was in the corner behind the door, as I was frozen to my chair in fear. Getting another beer is completely unimportant when a teeny spider is threatening you from a corner, particularly when it's not on the path between you and the fridge. They. Petrify. Me.

So, in the shower this morning, I have no idea if this thing is a moth, a spider, or some other unknown creature. All I can see is that it's rather large. I screamed. It fell onto the floor of the shower, where I tried to coax it down the drain. It refused, swimming toward the back of the tub. I aim the water toward it, knocking it back down. I come to the realization that said thing and I will be doing at least a minor battle as it swims for its life. I also realize that I don't want to be standing in the shower as I attempt to encourage it toward the drain. Out of the shower I go.

Dripping wet, chasing the unidentifiable large thing with the shower spray, the only progress I am making is soaking my bathroom rug and floor. I turn off all cold water... it does lazy laps around the tub. When it gets to the far end, it tries to move up out of the water. I chase it with water. Scalding hot water. It makes its way under the edge of the shower curtain... I spray it out of there and back into the bottom of the tub. It slowly wends its way toward the drain... where it just swirls around the drain, not showing any inkling of going down the drain. I sigh in frustration and hatch a plan, as not taking a shower is not appealing to me. If I just leave, it will escape its little shower Buchenwald. The thought of killing it makes my skin crawl. I'm not brave enough to pick it up.

I grab my glasses and put them on. Whew, it is a moth and not a giant hairy spider. Now that said rival has been identified, I try to stun it a little longer with the scalding shower spray. Finally, it's floating and not attempting to escape. I center the spray and quickly dash to the kitchen to grab two Solo cups. I scoop the moth into one of the cups, cap it with the other, and make quickly toward my front door. I'm butt naked as I toss the moth out the front door. I certainly hope the neighbors aren't looking.

Ah. Relief. I can shower in peace. After my shower, I dress and plead for some additional time before lunch, as it's approaching time to meet my friend. He agrees to delay lunch by a half hour. Sweet. I dawdle in finishing getting ready, checking Facebook and email in between putting on makeup and drying my hair. As I went back into my bedroom to pick up my hairbrush, I see it. It flaps its wings at me. The same moth is back in my house! How did it get in? Why did it want to come back? I mean, we just went through Waterloo; that moth should be feeling as defeated as Napoleon.

I went to lunch. Lunch was delicious. It was good to get out and hang out with people I love dearly. I came back home, and the moth hasn't been seen since. I hope it's enjoying a good nap. If it ends up under my Tahitian Renewal again, I can't promise to be so nice as to not kill it.