Kindergarten Capers, Part 1

From time to time, I'll delve into the inherent challenges of being a parent. This is one of those cases. 

My child is in kindergarten. He's a fairly normal 5-year-old, and has always been a bit rambunctious and energetic. If you could harness his energy alone, we could solve the energy crisis within the lower 48. (Alaska is too cold and utilizes too much heating oil; you're on your own.) I call him Peanut online to protect his identity. 

This is Peanut: 

Adorable, right??? (I'm his mother; I am required by law to be biased.)

But behind those beautiful steel blue eyes lies enough mischief to serve a dozen kids his age. He also was unfortunate enough to inherit his father's and my Irish tempers. And boy, are we Irish. I'm pretty sure that's why our relationship failed, both times. 

Peanut recently started kindergarten. He's doing pretty well; he likes school in general, and his teacher in particular. He's at the top of the bell curve for nearly all of his learning objectives at his age. 

Except for his behavior. In his classroom, they have a demerit system called "clips" for bad behavior. You can receive up to three clips in one day. For one clip, you are basically put in time-out. For two clips in any given day, the teacher will send a letter home to your parents that the parent must sign and return. For three clips in a day, there's something of an intervention with the principal, counselor, his teacher, and the parents or other sordid consequences. 

Peanut has received two clips once a week for the last two weeks. The second occurrence, last Wednesday, Peanut was so mad at the situation that he threw away the letter to me. I received a second notice on Friday, when it also came out that he had lied to me and the cover-up had come to light. 

I toyed with legally changing his middle name to Trouble. 

Once we got to the bottom of the situation -- some kids had called him names, so he punched (!) them -- we were able to devise some punishment. Peanut suggested that I take away his Nintendo DS, his favorite toy. And maybe his Legos, too. That's a good start, but not nearly enough for the egregious nature of the crimes. Hey, Raskolnikov, you're not getting off that easily. 

We finally came up with the following: 

• Take away the DS until Peanut can go for a full week at school with no clips
• Take away the Legos for the weekend
• No TV, computer time, or video games for the weekend
• He had to confess his crimes to extended "family" members at a party that evening, and seek out advice for handling name-calling in the future
• Each day, after school, he had "homework" -- practicing writing his name, alphabet, and numbers five times each
• We moved his bedtime up an hour, to 8:00pm on school nights, in the effort that additional sleep would make him less likely to take out frustration physically

The strata of punishment were also conveyed to his teacher. That way, she knows we're taking this seriously, and willing to forge a symbiotic relationship to further his upbringing. I also asked her assistance in letting me know if he received one clip (she doesn't have to tell us if it's only one).

It made for a long weekend for all of us, but we survived it. Making matters worse, Sunday night he lied to me about Nathan, my partner, telling him he could play our friend's Wii. That earned him a spanking and much verbal reproval from me. 

We were sailing through the week, clip-free, until today. Wednesday. He got off the bus, and, kicking some gravel, informed me that he received one clip. 

Insert primal scream here. 

At least he was honest. But he still got a clip. I get the DS for another ten days, at least. Good thing I bought my own game for it, because lately I've had more time to play it than he has. 

He's still not out of the woods with the above punishment, most of which is still in effect. So, at this point, what's a parent to do??? The only thing I could come up with was a reward system for not receiving clips at school. I drew up a chart and rewards for every clip-free week, and hung it on the fridge. If he goes an entire week without a clip, not only does he get his beloved DS back, but he also gets to play one game of his choice with the family member of his choice. For two weeks, he gets an extra half hour on the computer or DS. For three weeks, we'll give him his choice of dinner and family game or movie night. For an entire month, it's his choice. Trying to also figure out awesome rewards he'll love on a very strict budget was a challenge in itself!

I may also devise a clip demerit system relevant to the month: for example, in October, five or more clips may result in Peanut not being allowed to go trick-or-treating. OK, that seems harsh, as Halloween is our collective favorite holiday, so maybe ten or more clips... 

I'd love to hear any feedback, suggestions, ideas, etc., that any of you may have, Dear Readers (if there are any of you!). What would you do? How would you handle it? What types of punishment do you feel would be appropriate?

Mothgate 2012

I made plans to go out to lunch with a friend of mine today. Woo hoo! I get to get out of the house, more than just to go to the corner store, or to greet Peanut at the bus! Yessssss!

I showered before meeting said friend. As I reached for the bottle of body wash, I noticed something was on it. Of course, I didn't have my contacts in, and without them, I'm blind. Like have to have my nose literally on something in order to really see it. I also suffer from acute arachnophobia. Last night, I whined and wheedled until Nathan killed a spider that was in the corner behind the door, as I was frozen to my chair in fear. Getting another beer is completely unimportant when a teeny spider is threatening you from a corner, particularly when it's not on the path between you and the fridge. They. Petrify. Me.

So, in the shower this morning, I have no idea if this thing is a moth, a spider, or some other unknown creature. All I can see is that it's rather large. I screamed. It fell onto the floor of the shower, where I tried to coax it down the drain. It refused, swimming toward the back of the tub. I aim the water toward it, knocking it back down. I come to the realization that said thing and I will be doing at least a minor battle as it swims for its life. I also realize that I don't want to be standing in the shower as I attempt to encourage it toward the drain. Out of the shower I go.

Dripping wet, chasing the unidentifiable large thing with the shower spray, the only progress I am making is soaking my bathroom rug and floor. I turn off all cold water... it does lazy laps around the tub. When it gets to the far end, it tries to move up out of the water. I chase it with water. Scalding hot water. It makes its way under the edge of the shower curtain... I spray it out of there and back into the bottom of the tub. It slowly wends its way toward the drain... where it just swirls around the drain, not showing any inkling of going down the drain. I sigh in frustration and hatch a plan, as not taking a shower is not appealing to me. If I just leave, it will escape its little shower Buchenwald. The thought of killing it makes my skin crawl. I'm not brave enough to pick it up.

I grab my glasses and put them on. Whew, it is a moth and not a giant hairy spider. Now that said rival has been identified, I try to stun it a little longer with the scalding shower spray. Finally, it's floating and not attempting to escape. I center the spray and quickly dash to the kitchen to grab two Solo cups. I scoop the moth into one of the cups, cap it with the other, and make quickly toward my front door. I'm butt naked as I toss the moth out the front door. I certainly hope the neighbors aren't looking.

Ah. Relief. I can shower in peace. After my shower, I dress and plead for some additional time before lunch, as it's approaching time to meet my friend. He agrees to delay lunch by a half hour. Sweet. I dawdle in finishing getting ready, checking Facebook and email in between putting on makeup and drying my hair. As I went back into my bedroom to pick up my hairbrush, I see it. It flaps its wings at me. The same moth is back in my house! How did it get in? Why did it want to come back? I mean, we just went through Waterloo; that moth should be feeling as defeated as Napoleon.

I went to lunch. Lunch was delicious. It was good to get out and hang out with people I love dearly. I came back home, and the moth hasn't been seen since. I hope it's enjoying a good nap. If it ends up under my Tahitian Renewal again, I can't promise to be so nice as to not kill it.

Welcome to Koeper's Capers!

Welcome to Koeper's Capers, my little space for blathering about whatever is on my mind. I'm a stay-at-home mom who has a lot of time, a wide variety of interests, and a lot of stuff on my mind... Consider this your warning. I hope you enjoy this little vignette into my corner of the world.